Speaking in ‘I’ Statements

Sunday, July 14, 2024

I was introduced to the idea of speaking in ‘I’ statements when I first started sitting with a men’s group back in 2015. The idea behind this simple suggestion is that I take responsibility for my feelings. So for example, if a driver cuts in front of me, making me angry, later when I am sharing the story with someone instead of me talking about how stupid and irresponsible the driver was, I say something like, “I felt angry and annoyed when the car cut in front of me. I felt scared that he might have caused a crash.” I own my feelings around the situation. (On a read through here, I caught myself out for typing, “You own your feelings…”. Not an incorrect statement, but it felt out of spirit with the topic.)

I find myself catching myself not using I statements in my own writing and blog posts. Modern colloquialisms creep in, and I will drop an ‘I’. The context is not wrong, the post still makes sense because it is an understood way of speaking that is sneaking into my writing. Now there might be a place for a particular way of expressing oneself, and so an ‘I’ is dropped, but I personally think that a lazy way of expression can in time help me step away from owning how I feel.

Maybe I feel embarrassed or shame around feeling a certain way, and a form of expression can give me a way out. A way out of not having to own my feelings or to push them aside for now.

So going forward I would like to make a pledge to speak in I statements here on my blog. If I don’t, please point it out to me.

#Men