All I want for Christmas is the use of a remote cabin, half way up a mountain.
Give me the key, show me the way, and I’ll see you in the New Year.
IntrovertHSP
Monday May 27, 2024 Newsletter letter
Sunday, May 26, 2024
Monday May 27, 2024 Dear Friends, It’s early morning here in Alentejo, the region of Portugal that our house is in. Outside feels fresh and cool, but that won’t last for long. After some cooler weather last week, summer appears to have arrived in Portugal and the days are heating up. Clear skies and sun. I have said it elsewhere, but there is a quality to the light here that I have not seen elsewhere.Everyone has gone for a walk. I am staying at home to rest tired bones and a tired nervous system. We had a lovely couple of days in Lisbon with my sister in law and her husband. However, I did not sleep well the night in the city, and spent a lot of time on the move yesterday. By the time that we got home, I chose to spend some time to myself while the others watched a movie.
Today we are heading east towards the Spanish border. Just a day away, but a lot of driving, walking and socializing. After a while my body and mind just needs the down time, I can feel it. The HSP in me can only be on for so long, and then I need to bathe in some silence and alone time. Right now I am taking such time as it becomes available. Maybe next week they’ll be more time to recharge?
My wife’s family arrive today for a week. I am looking forward to seeing them. I’m sure that we will have a good time, we always do…And my quiet, HSP nervous system will probably have to find some way to pace myself, to find some quiet, recharge time, and right now I don’t know how or what that will look like? I’ll probably be the main chauffeur for the week. Along with coping with my hayfever, from here it looks as though it will be a challenging week.
I’m sitting alone in the bar at an airport hotel at San Francisco International Airport (SFO). Back in Maui, where I flew in from an hour earlier, it is just before six o’clock in the evening. Here it is almost nine at night. It’s late but it’s not, depending on which time zone I choose to see myself in. My mind tells me to head to bed, my stomach tells me to eat. I choose to listen to my stomach, but I don’t want the full service of a restaurant. The bar feels more relaxed and informal.
People are chatting, television screens show live sports, voices and the sound of clattering cutlery drift over from the nearby restaurant. So different from the world that I have just arrived from.
For all the activity, and the sound and stimulation that come with it, I find myself in my happy place. I’m by myself despite and maybe because of this busyness around me? And yet I love sitting in this anonymity. I’ve used this phrase before, but I’m sitting alone in the company of others. For this introvert, I can feel more comfortable around such strangers than in a room full of people who I know.
I am returning to England for my mother’s 90th birthday celebration. There will be a gathering of relatives, most of whom I have not seen in a long while. I am looking forward to seeing everyone, catching up on news, finding out where life has taken them…and I can already feel in me the angst of the gathering. This might be hard to understand for the socializers in the room, but for me small talk and what I will experience as the busyness of a party can get the best of me. I am soon exhausted. If I lock onto a conversation with someone about something that really interests me, I can still be sat there in that conversation when everyone else are packing up to leave. I loose myself in the conversation. Introvert, yes. Short on words, no…given the right circumstances.
However, that evening at SFO the company of others was very welcome. I sat quite content alone, in the company of others. That evening I remember fondly.
Resting in the Anonymity of Travel
Sunday, February 26, 2023
Yesterday I landed at JFK airport in New York after a seven and a half hour flight from Lisbon. The previous night I had spent at an airport hotel in Lisbon due to my early departure the next day. Although someone was sitting next to me on the flight to JFK, we both kept to ourselves, eating, reading, and watching movies on the inflight entertainment. I arrived in New York at lunchtime, but my onward flight to home in Hawaii did not leave until the next morning, and so I had booked an overnight stay at the TWA Hotel connected to Terminal 5 at JFK.I’m sitting at home reading a book. Next door my stepdaughter is hosting a party. People are beginning to arrive. There is the sound of music. Voices are getting louder as they compete with the music.
As I sit here reading I find myself thinking, ”parties are so much work, not too host (through they can be a lot of work to host), but just to be at, to attend.” That’s the introvert in me talking.
This evening I am happy with my book. At least for now. We will be heading over to some friends’ house for dinner later. That could also feel like work, though not so much.
Quiet
Wednesday, January 11, 2023
When you hear the word, “Quiet,” what does it bring up for you. Home Fear Avoid A Refuge Your Nature Happiness Trauma Rejection Peace Noise Need Sensitivity Introvert Left Out Don’t Fit In other? This list is not meant to be exhaustive. Just some words that came to me through watching my own and others’ reaction to quiet. What does come to mind when you think of quiet, and why?The Harshness of Interruptions
Wednesday, June 23, 2021
When I read this this essay by Nancy Kline of Time to Think I thought, ”YES!” I’ll go further - I felt, “YES!” Kline speaks, not mincing her words, of how interruption is an assault. In the first paragraph of the essay she says as much, Interruption is assault. She goes on to say, There is violence in it. Interruption is a slice made into the guts of an as yet unfinished idea.Chronic Fatigue and the HSP
Tuesday, March 30, 2021
There’s pattern which repeats itself pretty much each time I find myself home alone for a few days - which with the presence of the COVID pandemic is not that often right now. It goes something like this, I drop my wife off at the airport - living on an island, that is usually the start of the home alone period. On the way home I run a few errands, pick up groceries, and perhaps go for a walk.The Comfort of Memories
Thursday, February 18, 2021
I find myself sitting in my car on our driveway. It is overcast and there is steady stream of rain falling. The weather looks set in for the day, and likely tomorrow as well. I feel at ease, comfortable, safe. This weather takes me back to weather in Britain that I grew up with. At times it might be weather that the British poke fun at, or complain about. Or it might be weather that visitors tease the country for.Video - The power of quiet leadership
Saturday, January 23, 2021
A short, inspiring video on the power of quiet leadership. The power of quiet leadership - BBC IdeasI am looking forward to the 2nd Highly Sensitive Men’s Seminar this coming Saturday. Most of all to sit in the company, virtually, with men of a the same personality trait as myself, to share stories and experiences. I believe that there is still time to sign up?
The Introvert and The Wet Weather
Saturday, November 7, 2020
In this little corner of Hawai’i the wet weather has been slow in coming. While the seasonal changes are not as noticeable as in the far northern hemisphere, there is a subtle, perceptible change in the atmosphere - the light, the sensed feeling of the days. Autumn arrived a few weeks ago . . . in part. The part that was missing was the wet weather, the rain. Days have been hot, the sun piercing in its strength.The 2nd Highly Sensitive Men's Seminar
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Here is a promotional video of the 2nd High Sensitive Men’s seminar taking place over Zoom on December 5th. See my previous post for more details and where to purchase tickets.The Second Highly Sensitive Men’s Seminar
Monday, September 21, 2020
Towards the end of the second week of December, the 2nd Highly Sensitive Men’s seminar will be held. I am not an organizer of this event, but plan to attend. The first such seminar, A Weekend for Highly Sensitive Men, was in person in California and held just before the pandemic. Due to COVID-19, this seminar will be online (see Details below). Why am I attending? First and foremost to be in the presence of men with the same or similar personality type to myself.May Meditation Nudge 26
Tuesday, May 26, 2020
Breaking my own suggestions This is an ongoing series running through May to compliment the twice weekly meditation sessions that I will be hosting on YouTube (and are now archived on my YouTube page). If you have any questions, please contact me. I titled one of the earlier articles in this Nudge series, “Beware of waiting for silence before you meditate.” While I believe that the advice that I offer in that piece is important, I am now going to apparently contradict myself!It’s raining right now. The forecast is for overcast weather through the day, and the likelihood of more rain. For the most part I will be by myself today. Overcast, rain and by myself feel like ideal working conditions for me.
Stepping out of Retreat, and Valuing Solitude
Friday, January 31, 2020
I share here an experience from a few weeks ago. I stepped outside, I made it into town for the first time for two weeks. The world appeared so vivid and colourful, so bright, so varied. I was reminded that the world carries on regardless of whether I am a part of it or not. That was freeing. Through unplanned circumstances I had spent a week in relative solitude. Let me explain.An observation, no judgements, just an observation.
Extrovert and introvert sit outside together on a beautiful evening, to eat dinner.
Extrovert sits there exclaiming enthusiastically and describing the scene.
Introvert sits there, saying nothing, just taking it all in.
When you are the lone one amongst many
Saturday, December 14, 2019
When you are the solitary introvert or HSP amongst many who are not. When you are the quiet one and your actions or needs are looked on as being off or odd. When you are looked on as not fitting in, and the sole justification is because of what everyone else is doing. When your different needs are seen as wrong because and simply because no one else present has them, and everyone else is doing something else.One of the things that I like about being an introvert is being happy and secure in my own company. In fact sometimes I have to be careful that I do not get too comfortable with that. I do have a family and friends after all! I sneaked in a past #mbnov word for good measure. 😁
I love meeting new people and the company of others, but as an introvert I sometimes just need to be alone. Please don’t take it personally. At times it is simply a need that I have in order just to be in the world.
The Exhaustion of a Family Visit
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
From my experience people visiting and staying in my home always requires a break in my routine. There is entertaining, showing around, just more going on and the house feeling busier and more full. I don’t say this to complain, just acknowledging what the welcoming of visitors entails. For me, as an introvert and highly sensitive person, this creates an added struggle of overstimulation and exhaustion from the constant do, do, do along with accompanying conversation and noise.130 Guests and Me
Thursday, July 4, 2019
This is a post written in installments over the course of, and just after a weekend of wedding celebrations. A weekend of activities that were just made for me… not. .. Having said that, I do wish to empathize that I am here to enjoy myself, make new friends and most importantly celebrate the commitment that a lovely couple are making to each other. And so it begins… I start this log on Friday evening.Catnapping
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
Being able to catch a quick 40 winks can be a life saver for me. I usually find a patch of the afternoon, mid-afternoon, when I start flagging. My eyes start becoming heavy and ache, an ache that might drift round to the back of my head. I notice that my ability to focus or be productive in my work, dives. I can push myself to keep going, but my work becomes less focused and more fractured.Tonight is the monthly meeting of the Introvert/Highly Sensitive men’s group here on Maui. I started it about 19 months ago, unsure if there would be a call for it. Now it is a fixture on the calendar.
I have just put the 2nd edition of my Meditation eBook up on my website. Although titled that it is aimed at introverts and highly sensitive people, anyone who wishes to build a meditation practice will find benefit in it.
In Transition
Saturday, March 30, 2019
(aka, looking for a quieter online life) Spring has sprung. Even in the tropical climate of Hawaii, it has been noticeable in the last couple of days. The temperature has risen, this was a cold winter. Even out of State visitors were noticing that - sometimes cold for a Hawaii residents is still warm for a visitor! The rain appears to be lessening and the warmth of the sun feels so good as it works its way through to the marrow of my bones.I have finally put my book on building a Meditation practice, along with tips on how meditation can help introverts and HSPs, up onto my website.