Being introverted or highly sensitive doesn’t fit the archetypal image of a male, but some of us are just wired that way. I wanted to give men a place where they can talk about it.
A recent article about me that appeared in The Maui News.
IntrovertHSP
Frayed Nerves
Friday, August 17, 2018
I am not going to pretend that I can work well when I know that people are around who might call on me at any moment, because I can’t. Loud music, disturbances, kids shouting, people talking, these distractions and others just throw me when it comes to working. Sometimes, most of the time, just people present in the room with me will intrude on my ability to focus. Unless they are the quiet type like me, in which case no problem, I sit there anticipating the next interruption.Finding Solace in Memories
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Introverts spend a lot of time in their inner lives. It is what makes us introverts. We sit, process, think, ruminate and so much so that the external world can sometimes be just too much for us. It is why at times we just want to be quiet, or can seem remote, aloof. We are not ignoring you, just looking to find some time to rest from all that activity and noise.When You Doubt Even Yourself
Friday, February 16, 2018
Old habits die hard…even, or maybe especially when they run counter to something that you truly believe in. Visitors to this site will know that aside from working with introverts and highly sensitive people of both sexes, I have a particular interest in working with men as I believe that personality traits that such personalities engender in people can run counter to how society expects men to behave. This can result in introverted and highly sensitive men feeling that there is something wrong with them, for them to deny and suppress how they are feeling and what their needs are, and to generally struggle to speak up for what they need for fear of being judged.Just before the men arrived for the 3rd gathering of Introvert/HSP I-Group here on Maui.
Finding stillness in quiet reflections. New on the blog - finding nourishment in life as an introvert and/or hsp when you feel shaken up - link in the bio.
Getting Things Done When the World Around You is Spinning Out of Control
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Can you move from frantic behaviour to concentration? Can you move from disturbance to instant focus? Can you jump from requests for help to focusing on a job that you are trying to get done? I can’t! Spinning on that sort of dime doesn’t fit my personality. I need to have time set aside, undisturbed time in order to be able to focus on and accomplish what I am doing. In fact I need to be sure that I won’t be disturbed.Saturday, September 30, 2017 →
“Boxes, boxes everywhere, and still no place to sit,” with apologies to Hemmingway. With a recent move it feels as though we have been unpacking boxes forever. It has been a real patience practice as I yearn to get back to more creative endeavors, as well as my introverted nature calling out for some solitary time.
However for all that, I mustn’t loose site of the fact that we are blessed with a beautiful new house.
Thursday, September 21, 2017 →
“…HSPs are complex, highly capable individuals who are not like everyone else in temperament and disposition. Our needs are simply different.” ~ Tracy Cooper, PhD, Thrive: The Highly Sensitive Person and Career
Sitting in complete silence in our new Barn. Complete silence and stillness such that my ears are ringing. It is in such situations that I can come to peace. The commotion in my mind settles. My heart settles, my body settles, my breathing settles. And with that comes an inner stillness, and greater perspective becomes possible.
The introvert’s mind is busy. Noisier than the extrovert’s. Introverts spend a lot of time in their minds. It is how we are wired. And living with all that noise can become overwhelming at times, exhausting. External noise just adds to the inner noise that we are living with.
In contrast, external silence can allow the noise in our minds to settle, like the dirt in a glass of muddy water.
“Every time you tell an HSP they are too sensitive, it’s like telling someone with blue eyes that their eyes are too blue.” ~ Elena Herdieckerhoff.
Meditation Tips for Introverts and Highly Sensitive People.
Thursday, February 2, 2017
I’m pleased to announce the 2nd edition of my eBook, “Meditation Tips for Introverts and Highly Sensitive People.” The book looks at how meditation can help introverts & HSP’s. There are instructions on how to develop a regular meditation practice, how to deal with obstacles that arise and expectations that we put onto ourselves. Further ideas are explored for how you can take meditation out into your daily life This new edition has a completely new chapter looking at building boundaries into our lives and how that can help our meditation practice.New on the blog (link in my bio) - Self Care Sunday. The importance of self care for the highly sensitive people and introverts.
Self Care Sunday
Sunday, January 29, 2017
If we cannot keep ourselves in balance physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually we cannot hope to function from a center of well-being. ~ Thrive: The Highly Sensitive Person and Career, by Dr. Tracy Cooper, PhD It is 6:30pm and I have still not made the bed today. That is an unheard of thing for me. I usually can’t get on with my day if I know the bed has not been made.Lessons from Japan - An Introvert's Experience
Friday, December 16, 2016
I recently returned from a visit to Japan. It was not my first visit to Asia, but my first visit to Japan. In my readings about introverts and HSP’s, I have heard it said that there is more acceptance of quieter, sensitive personalities in Asia. I would concur on that in the countries that I have visited - India, Nepal, Tibet. I’ve always put it down to their society’s support of contemplative traditions.Gentle Men Discussion
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
You are Invited to a Discussion For and About Gentle Men Invitation I have previously held two discussions with men to explore what it means to be a quiet or gentle man who does not fully identify with the dominant macho expectations. At both events there was a wide ranging discussion, with the men present sharing their own experiences growing up and how they dealt with the differences that they noticed in themselves compared with other men around them, and the expectations put on them that did not fit in with their nature.Hearing It As It Is From Men
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Boy this article/post has taken a long time to come together - too long. I’m not sure why. I could probably blame writers procrastination, that blank white screen or sheet of paper that is just sitting there taunting you to dare to fill it with words. Perfection has probably also played a part…”gotta get this right,” and then I over think what I wanted to say (as is my introvert tendency).An Invitation to a Discussion...
Monday, January 25, 2016
Invitation I am sending out this invitation to men, or men who you may know in your life, to join me for a free discussion about what it means to be a gentle or quiet man who does not fully identify with the dominant macho expectations. I’d love to have a discussion about being such a man in the world today - the challenges, the joy, where you shine and where you struggle.Introversion - In the Cradle of the Night
Friday, November 20, 2015
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill I could see the city light Wind was blowing, time stood still Eagle flew out of the night" ~ Solsbury Hill, by Peter Gabriel Solsbury Hill is an Iron Age Hill Fort to the East of the city of Bath in England. From the lyrics of this well-known song we know that Peter Gabriel is on the Hill with the darkness of night surrounding him.Introversion - Life in the Rear View Mirror
Saturday, October 24, 2015
When looking at my life as an introvert and HSP, I can spend a lot of time gazing into the rear view mirror. Why? Because for the greater part of my life I had no formal reference point with which to frame how I have felt in different situations. While growing up my heart knew what I wanted, what I felt comfortable with, how best I worked, the outside world gave me different messages.The Silence of Male Introverts & HSPs?
Thursday, September 24, 2015
I wrote this piece to explore some thoughts and observations that have been going through my mind. I’ve been thinking a lot about introversion and sensitivity, as it is defined for a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and men. Specifically the visibility of introverted and/or HSP men online, and what that might say to how these men are handling this aspect of themselves in their lives. I have included a question mark in the title of this blog as I also ask myself if I am asking the correct question?Letting Go - A Lesson From the Road
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
I am not long back from a summer holiday visiting family and friends in different parts of the US and UK. Six weeks on the road. I have be away for much longer, much longer, but looking out from the perspective of pre-departure this felt like an exhausting trip before I had even taken off. Despite looking forward to seeing family and being back in England, this jaunt felt as though it would be busy - read, not much down time.Being Interviewed by Melissa Schwartz - Video
Friday, July 10, 2015
Melissa Schwartz of Leading Edge Parenting, where she coaches parents of highly sensitive children, recently interviewed me. Our discussion looked at the overlap between Tibetan Buddhism, particularly meditation and High Sensitivity. You can watch the complete interview below. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the conversation with Melissa.How to Approach Difficult Situations ... and Manage Those Holiday Blues
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
A lot of good advice has been offered online on how introverts and HSPs can manage the social demands that might come their way over the holiday period. I was not intending to add to this well informed conversation, until I came across this short video (below) by Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist teacher who is based in Seattle. The advice that he gives stretches beyond the Buddhist world and applies to any time and place in our lives, not just the this holiday time.An Attitude of Gratitude
Friday, November 21, 2014
Every Thursday evening at a yoga class that I use to attend we started class by sitting in a circle, introducing ourselves, expressing any injuries that we had and then naming something that we are grateful for. Once while going round that circle a fellow Brit in the class expressed gratitude for the “Attitude of Gratitude” that had been installed in him through the Thursday evening class. Even when he was feeling a little down the Attitude of Gratitude was always available to him, opening up the world around him and lifting him out of his melancholy.An Aesop Fable and Introversion
Friday, November 14, 2014
We have been experiencing some very windy weather here in the Pacific North West. Accompanied by some unseasonably cold temperatures, the wind chill has been cutting through everyone. The skies have been clear and the strong winds have given a clarity to the air, while at the same time making swift work of the autumnal job of removing the trees of their leaves - piles are accumulating along the sidewalk.Meditation In Service of Introverts
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Meditation and introversion have something in common - the mind. For introverts the mind is a place of activity, but also a place of refuge. Meditation is an activity for familiarizing ourselves with our mind, and for developing its unrealized potential. That might sound exciting and scary in equal measure, but hopefully this article will lend some perspective. With this close connection, I believe that there is a place where meditation can be of service to introverts.Quiet Time, Space, Mindfulness and Focus
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
How much time do you give to be just with yourself? Why should you want to? For six mornings of the week members of Portland Japanese Garden have access to the Gardens for two hours before they open to the general public. The other morning I finally made it up there to benefit from this special privilege. The silence and stillness on that summer’s morning, the sound of the birds singing and running water, the vividness of the views seen many times before, but being all the more precise with the absence of people.The Silent Warrior
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
When I hear the word “warrior” I usually think of a fearsome character going off into battle, probably on horse back. Such a person appears to me as an ancient and noble figure, adorned in ornate clothes, and carrying some masterly crafted weaponry. In this article I’d like to introduce to you to two other types of warrior. One is established and known within some circles. This warrior is motivated by altruism to battle the ignorance and suffering in the world.The Hypnotic Sound of Silence
Friday, May 30, 2014
Life can be a game of give and take at times. We’d prefer things to be one way but for one reason or another we are called to meet the situation halfway. One area where this can be a real challenge is when our comfort zone is confronted. Unless resolution is strong to push through resistance, we’ll spew forth with reasons why we couldn’t, shan’t, are not able to show up.